| Cambodia
: Case Studies 
Heng and his family
Heng began life with all the dreams and plans of young
men everywhere. But for him, life was interrupted by the years
in which the Khmer Rouge took power in his country, bringing
with them death and destruction. Heng's wife was killed, and
his family destroyed. Like many of his other compatriots,
and like the society as a whole, Heng faced the choice between
giving up, and starting over. He chose the latter.
|
Heng
and his young family |
He began his life anew, remarried, and
became the father of his second set of children. Of course,
life was difficult, but he persevered, and although he did
not have much in terms of material goods, he could look
at his children with pride. The fact is, however, that although
Heng started over in a new place, with a new family, the
years that he had already lived had taken a toll on his
body. These years could not be erased. He had
begun his second family not as a teenager, but as a mature
man. Although his family was young, he was now in
his sixties. He was proud to look at his oldest daughter,
who was becoming a young lady, and learning to take on the
responsibilities of running the home. He could see
his oldest son begin to look as he had looked many years
ago, and to hope that his child's future would be brighter
than his own. In the past four years or so, Heng's vision
deteriorated. By the time his youngest son, Chin,
was born, Heng was blind. He could not see this child.
It was no longer possible for him to go out and work in
the rice fields, or to pick cashews as he had done before
to make his living. Selling things off bit by bit kept the
family going for a while, but in time, there was nothing
more to sell. They were already living on mats on
the ground with a tarp for a roof. Finally, the owner
of the land where they were living told them they would
have to move off this little plot. They were no longer
of use to him.
Heng and his family made the decision to move out from their
small village, and into the forest area. There was
land there on which they could squat, and enough materials
could be gathered to re-build a small hut. It seemed
the only way forward. There in the remote area, far
from neighbors, the family was able to work together.
Without the father's help, there were some days when there
was nothing to eat, but at least they were together, and
had a place to sleep up off the ground.
It was at this time that the volunteer village worker noticed
their plight. She had been contacted by the IRIS field
worker, who was looking for cataract cases which could be
helped. A man in Heng's position would never have
been able to find IRIS on his own, or to access the services
IRIS provides. Was it true that the IRIS field worker
would come to see him? He found this hard to believe,
as he lived where there was no road to his house!
But with the help of the village volunteer, the field worker
found Heng's house, and helped Heng through the procedures
necessary to have cataract surgery. Both of his eyes
needed surgery, but within a month, they were both completed.
Heng can see clearly now! "I can even see up
into that palm tree," he bragged. His wife laughed,
and said, "I used to tease him. I would call
'Father!' and he would jump and answer me. But then
I would keep silent, and he would not be able to tell where
I was. He would have to search to catch me, and then
we would laugh. But we don't play that game anymore!"
Heng looks at little Chin with gratefulness. He never
even had a hope before of being able to see that face.
He is back to work, out in the rice fields, and picking
the cashews. He will never be a rich man in terms
of money, but he knows that he is rich in another way, having
been given a second chance to finish the job of raising
his second family. What had seemed impossible to change
had been changed! Thank you, IRIS, on behalf of Heng,
his wife and children, and especially little Chin, who has
his father once again to take him by the hand and lead him
through his childhood.
Yay and Da
Many years ago, back in the time when all the troubles that
were to come to Cambodia were just rumblings and rumours,
a young man of twenty married a woman two years his senior.
In a culture where age is revered and even terms of address
are dependant on whether the one being addressed is younger
or older, that woman never let him forget that she is the
older!
Now, sixty years later, she is still the older, and says
in a teasing voice that he must be careful to do what she
says. Perhaps this little twist in their marriage was providential.
It wasn't long into their life together, while their daughter
was still a teenager, that the woman became lame. In
those days, there was not much available in terms of medical
treatment, and she has been unable to walk ever since.
And yet, she continued to run her household, raising her children,
seeing what needed to be done, and using her husband's legs
to do what she could not. He is the gentle quiet sort,
and they worked well together. Despite the harshness
of the ensuing years, they remained close to each other.
Their children moved on with their own lives, but "Yay
and Da", Grandma and Grandpa, were able to take care
of themselves, despite the fact that they were growing older.
There came a day when Yay began to go blind, as well as being
lame. This caused great difficulty in the life of this
couple, as she had always been the one who could see what
needed to be done. For her it was particularly depressing,
because now she felt completely useless. She could only
sit still, and wonder how much longer she had to live in this
way. Da now had become both her legs and her eyes.
He was the one to pour her tea, and to find her food.
And thus, it was very upsetting to him when he, too, began
to have trouble getting the tea into the glass. He would
often miss, and the tea would pour through the slats of the
floor, splashing on the ground below, and his wife would hear,
and know. Soon, he could see nothing at all. No longer
could they live in their own house. No longer could
they take care of the daily chores of living. They had
to move in with their daughter. Da stopped going out,
there was nothing to talk about as they sat together in darkness.
There was a volunteer in their village that saw what was happening
to this couple. She had the phone number of the IRIS
field worker responsible for her Province. She borrowed
a phone, and called to ask him to visit the village.
The IRIS field worker went to the home of Yay and Da, and
examined their eyes. There was hope! At first, Da went
himself for an eye examination. Yay said that it would
be too difficult to get an old lame woman all the way to the
doctor, more than an hour's motorcycle ride from her village.
He was given an appointment for the cataract operation.
The doctor was sure that he could help! This was too
good to be true! But he wanted this for his wife as
well. He returned to the house, and convinced her that
she must go with him. Of course it is possible! The
IRIS field worker found a way to get both Yay and Da into
the eye unit, and they both had cataract surgery the same
day.
Today, they look at each other, see each other, and smile.
Yay even remarks that from where she sits in the doorway,
she is able to watch the TV in the house across the road.
They are still living with their daughter, but now they can
help her with the daily chores again. They have grandchildren
to help keep safe. "I am older," says Yay with a
laugh, "so I have to keep an eye on Da. He's going
out again you know..." |
